Create a Wedding Day Make-Up Bag in case you need to top up during the day 

Create an Emergency Kit For Those Unexpected Mishaps – Include Plasters for Rubbing shoes etc, Safety Pins, Needle and thread in case of mishaps with the outfit.

Start Your Wedding Day with a Healthy and Filling Breakfast –and take on board lots of water or fruit juice to keep you hydrated and to that end make sure you have a bottle of water handy throughout the day in case you get hot or thirsty (Get one of the bridesmaids to carry it for you)  

As soon as the ceremony and Photo’s are over then - Kick off the Heels and Settle In to A More Comfortable pair of shoes

Keep Track Of Time throughout the day – Set an itinerary and have a designated person to carry the itinerary and who can prompt you if the timings start to slip (The most responsible Usher is good for this role).

The Groom     back to the top

Remember the preparation for the day is not just something for the bride and her mother to sort out, the groom will have to be heavily involved as it will be down to you not necessarily to chose the flowers etc – but you should try and help out as much as possible – Especially when it comes down to dealing with the main suppliers such as Ceremony Venue, Reception Venue, Photographer, Videographer, Car Hire/Horse & Carriage, Caterers, Entertainment, Toastmaster & Wedding Insurance etc. Try to help out as much as you can – especially as your negotiation skills may be required to get the right prices.

Along with helping out with the suppliers you will;

Firstly need to decide with the Bride who will be attending the ceremony during the day and subsequent reception or who will be attending the evening only.

You need to choose your best man and any ushers for the day and decide on what they will wear as well as an outfit or suit for yourself

Click here for Men’s Formal Wear   

Choose the Wedding Rings with your bride

Click here for Wedding Jewellery

Arrange transportation for the best man and yourself to the place of ceremony

Click here for Wedding Car Hire

Book the Hotel for the night before and or the wedding night

Click here for Reception Venues

Book the Honeymoon – It’s sometimes really nice for the Bride if the Groom books the honeymoon and keeps it a secret until after the ceremony – although not all brides like to be kept in the dark so you may have to discuss this before you book anything.

Click here for Honeymoon Booking     

And finally – But probably you most important duty (Apart from turning up on the day )- Write your Speech for after the meal

The Best Man           back to the top

Although traditionally the Best Man role will be a male friend there is no reason why the groom shouldn’t choose a woman nowadays.

The choice of best man is easily as important as, if not more than, that of the bride choosing the maid/matron of honour.

To put it crudely, grooms are less likely to be well organised than brides, so it's often down to the best man to ensure that everything runs smoothly.

As best man/woman, you will be involved in the planning of the all important stag do. You may also want to ask for help from the ushers and other friends as there are a lot of logistics involved such as accommodation & venues etc.

This can be an easily underestimated task but if you put your mind to it and organise things in advance, then all the stag party should have a brilliant time.

Click here for Hen & Stag Weekends 

Before the day – You will need to make sure that any hire suits for the Groom / Ushers and your suit is collected the day before the wedding.

On the day -First things first, the rings must be kept by you in a safe place from where they will not be lost as this can cause considerable distress to all concerned if you have mislaid them on the day.

The most important duty on the day is to keep the groom calm as this day has now built up to a climax over the past few months and most grooms are extremely nervous. You will also be in charge of the ushers to check that they are doing their duties whilst at the place of ceremony.

The best man’s speech can be one of the most terrifying experience’s one can come across as no matter how good you look in you’re morning suit, it is the speech you make that people will remember, again you can ask close friends for any funny anecdotes that may have occurred to the groom.

Whilst making your speech you should always try to maintain consistent eye contact with you’re audience and try to inflect some expression in your voice at the start and end of what you say, also ensure that you speak clearly.

It’s probably best to practice your speech in front of the mirror in the weeks leading up to the big day.

The speech should not be too prolonged and try to keep anything risqué to a minimum as there may be some in the audience who won’t appreciate hearing anything controversial about the groom.

There is still work to be done even after the speech, one of these jobs is to make sure the presents that the bride and groom have been given are stored somewhere safe. This could be the bridal suite or a close friend/family members house so they can be picked up after the happy couple return from honeymoon.

It may also be an idea on the day to find out who is taking the photographs (be it professional or just a friend) as presenting the happy couple with a collection in a photo album is a nice touch.

After the wedding day you will also have to organise the ushers so that all the hire suits get back at the same time so that you can get your deposit back, unless of course there has been damage in which case you will need to negotiate with the hire shop.

When organising the Stag night/Weekend - Make sure you pick activities that the groom enjoys doing – ie Golf, Horse racing, Greyhounds etc

Use prompt cards for your speech in case you get distracted or forget the speech on the day- Have these in front of you on the table when making the speech

Keep the rings in a safe place at all times- Make sure that as soon as you get dressed in the morning of the wedding day that you put the rings in your inside pocket

If you’re going to wear a new pair of shoes on the day – make sure you wear them in by wearing them around the house at least a few days before the big day

Remember that a lot of dress shirts require Cufflinks so make sure you have a pair of cufflinks for the day

Make sure that both the groom and yourself have a hearty breakfast in the morning of the day  

Keep the groom calm throughout the day – and stay cheerful yourself   

Make sure the ushers are doing their duties at the church and reception venue

Make sure you offer to dance with the maid of honour and/or chief Bridesmaid    

The bridesmaid is an integral part of any wedding and should always be there with the other bridesmaids to help and support the whole planning process and day go smoothly.

They should offer to help with pre wedding duties such as scouting out for the wedding dress and even the more mundane tasks such as stuffing invitations and keeping a track of gifts received on the day.

Along with the matron of honour/ chief bridesmaid help plan and co-ordinate the hen party.

Attend all pre-wedding get togethers and fittings so you’re kept informed of all the latest developments.

A lot of Bridesmaids sometimes team up with the other bridesmaids when buying a wedding present to buy one big present for the happy couple.

On the wedding day – help the matron of honour/ chief bridesmaid in keeping the bride relaxed and that everything she needs is taken care of

When arriving at the Reception venue the Bridemaids stand in the receiving line at the brides request and serve as auxiliary hostess at the reception by introducing guests, making sure guests know which table they are sitting at, where the bar and toilets are  located etc. and invite the guests to sign the guest book.

The Bridemaids traditionally lead the Dancing at the Reception – By dancing with the Bestman and the ushers and also making sure there are no toe tapping guests who aren’t getting involved in the festivities. 

Always pitch in and try to help with the pre wedding organization

Take some sweets – (Not chocolate or sticky sweets as these can go everywhere!) to bribe the page boy and flower girl if they do not do as they are told 

Bear in mind that the bride should enjoy her day so do your best and keep her in a good mood - Being part of the wedding party is a honour and a great chance to help your friend/relative celebrate one of the most important days in her life. One thing that will make her happy is seeing you enjoy yourself, so make sure you eat the good food, have a slice of cake and dance up a storm as your friend starts her new life.

During the reception - Help the bestman to have the wedding gifts taken somewhere safe.

Try to pass the guest book round as the happy couple will want everyone to sign the book and leave their messages

Take a camera and try to take photos of the evening festivities and then compile a photo album that you can then give to the couple when they return from honeymoon  

Remember to take a comfortable pair of shoes to wear for after the ceremony as there’s lots of dancing to be done 

Be the life and soul of the reception make sure all the other guests are having a good time and try and get them all up to dance  

Ushers       back to the top

The role of usher was traditionally from a member of the grooms family but these days can be given to a close friend/friends. If the groom and best man are wearing morning suits it is usual for the ushers to do the same you will therefore have to be fitted which can all be done at the same time as the groom and best man have their fitting.

You may also be asked to help with the organisation and attend the Stag party by the bestman.

You may also be required to attend a wedding rehearsal so that you’re aware of your duties on the day and at the place of ceremony such as directing and seating guests at the place of ceremony and reception venue

On the day of the wedding - Arrive at the venue early so as to check the lie of the land ie toilet facilities etc as guests may ask when you greet them.

Check with whoever is conducting the ceremony whether the guests can take pictures during the service, whether they can throw confetti/flower petals as the Bride and Groom leave and if so where this can be down – You can then advise guests as they arrive.  

As you greet the guests be sure to hand them buttonholes and any order of service sheets or hymn books

Direct family and friends of the groom to seats on the right of the aisle and family and friends of the bride to the left whilst making sure all direct family members are seated to the front. There are often some friends who are friends with both the groom and bride and therefore try to balance out each side of the aisle so that are not too many on one side.

Escort the brides mother to her seat and ensure all elderly and guests with young children are seated at the end of each aisle to allow ease of access.

Before the bride and her father have arrived please take you’re place at the back of the venue as you will be guiding the guests out and directing them to the reception.

Always arrive at the place of ceremony at least 45 minutes before the ceremony – You should be the first to arrive so you can find out where the entrance and exits are, the guests toilets etc. so you can show guests where things are

Find out how many guests are expected to attend- Count out button holes to see if you have enough for each guest or just direct family – Count the number of Order of service and or hymn books to see if there’s enough for one each or if the guests will need to share. 

Make sure you situate yourself by the entrance so you can hand out button holes, Order of ceremony and or hymn books as required

Wear comfortable shoes as you will be standing around for a while before and after the service

Ask if they are guests of the bride or the groom. If the bride, seat them on the left side of the church (left facing the altar). If guests of the groom then direct them to sit on the right.

Make sure you keep the first several rows open as directed by the bridal couple, for direct family and special guests

If the sides of the church fill unevenly after seating many guests, balance them out by asking guests if they would mind sitting on the other side.

Be ready as soon as the service ends to open the doors for the Bride and groom and to then direct guests to the reception venue – To this end it may be worth making copies of directions from the ceremony venue to the reception venue (map etc) and you can hand these out to the guests who are unsure of the directions to the reception venue.

Page boys are normally aged between 3 and 9 years old and their duties can include escorting the flower girl down the aisle, carry the rings, hold a basket of petals or confetti for guests to throw at the newlyweds as they depart, be present for most of the official photo’s and possibly stand up with the groomsman during the whole length of the ceremony.

As most page boys are quite young it is a good idea to let them have a nap before the ceremony so that they are not too tired during the ceremony and if they refuse to do as they are told then bribery (such as sweets etc.- But not chocolate or sticky ones!) can sometimes work on this occasion.

If you are not confident with letting the page boy carry the real rings, allow the page boy to carry replicas and entrust the real rings to your best man. Alternatively you can sew the rings to the ring bearing pillow with a single thread.

Some tips for the page boys       back to the top

Page boy outfits should fit in with the style of wedding

Normally you will have them dressed in a miniature version of what the men are wearing- however a smart shirt and trousers will normally suffice

Remember what they wear needs to be comfortable so they don’t spend the whole time fidgeting

Make sure their shoes are comfortable

Get the Bridesmaids to carry sweets (Not chocolate or sticky sweets as these can go everywhere!) to bribe the page boy and flower girl if they do not do as they are told 

Flower Girls   back to the top

Flower girls are also normally aged between 3 and 9 years old and their duties can include to walk down the aisle and throw petals to symbolise the brides new path in life, walk down the aisle with the page boy and with him hold the basket of petals for guests to throw over the newlyweds.

The flower girl will follow the bridesmaids up the aisle and depart with them and appear in most of the official photos.

As with page boys most flower girls are quite young so it is a good idea to let them have a nap before the ceremony so that they are not too tired during the ceremony and if they refuse to do as they are told then bribery (such as sweets etc.- But not chocolate or sticky ones!) can sometimes work on this occasion.

Some tips for the Flower Girls    back to the top

Flower girls walk directly in front of the bride in the processional and in front of the maid of honour in the recessional.

As flower girls walk down the aisle, they may be permitted to scatter rose Petals- But check first that this is allowed in the ceremony venue.

During the ceremony, flower girls may stand with the bridesmaids or may sit with their families. Those who are younger probably will do better sitting with their families.

The flower girl is always in the formal photographs along with the bridal party.

Normally you will have them dressed in a miniature version of what the Bridesmaids are wearing- however a smart dress will normally suffice  

Remember what they wear needs to be comfortable so they don’t spend the whole time fidgeting

Make sure their shoes are comfortable

Get the Bridesmaids to carry sweets (Not chocolate or sticky sweets as these can go everywhere!) to bribe the page boy and flower girl if they do not do as they are told 

Bride/Grooms Parents  back to the top

Upon the announcement of the engagement there are traditionally roles for the parents to perform the first of these is to congratulate each other on the good news and possibly hold a party or dinner in celebration and to meet each other.

The mothers should also be involved in the selecting of the wedding dress and fathers should (depending on how formal the wedding is) be fitted out with morning suits.

Both sets of parents should buy the couple a wedding gift and the parents of the bride should specifically act as host and hostess on the big day.

The Mother of the bride is the last to be seated at the venue as the father of the bride arrives at the ceremony with the bride and escorts the bride up the aisle.

After the ceremony the mother of the bride normally stores the top layer of the wedding cake and arranges for the wedding dress to be cleaned and stored.

Some tips for the Bride/Grooms Parents   back to the top

The Groom’s parents should contact the bride and her parents when the couple become engaged and invite them for a visit or meal.

A dinner or some party should be arranged and given for the bride, by the grooms parents, this will allow the two families to get to know each other and also is a good opportunity to discuss the plans and budget for the day.   

Both sets of parents should be as supportive to the couples wishes as possible and even though they may have concerns with their son or daughters choice or family feuds etc. These all need to be put to one side to allow the couple to have the right start in life.  

If the bride lives in another city, a note should be written to welcome her into the family. A friendly note should also be written to her parents.

Both sets of parents should sit down with the couple at a very early stage so they can help discuss the budget for the day and how they may be able to help out with organising or financial assistance

Obviously it’s great if the parents can pay for all of the wedding – However in many cases this nowadays isn’t practical – Therefore It’s sometimes a good idea if the parents agree to cover certain aspects of the budget ie Reception Venue, Catering and bar, or say the photographer- This is a lot more personal than just giving a lump sum of money.  

Traditionally, the bride’s parents cover the major financial portion of the wedding- although nowadays many couples pay for the wedding themselves and receive financial assistance from both sets of parents.

Since the size of the wedding is often dictated by the affordability of the bride’s parents (Or nowadays the couples themselves), it is appropriate for the groom and his parents to limit their guests to the number of people that the bride’s family or couple suggests.

It’s also traditional for the groom’s family to give a rehearsal dinner party on the week leading up to the big day.

It’s worth the mothers of the bride and groom discussing their outfits with the bride so that they compliment the colour theme of the day and don’t overshadow the bride. In particular it’s considered very bad etiquette if either mother wears white on the day. 

The first thing to think about is where to stay, this needs to be near the wedding venue for ease and travel. Therefore as soon as you accept the invitation and if the wedding is far away you need to book your accommodation.

Look closely at the invite, if it is in informal language then the attire would normally be casual (ie lounge suits no tie etc). If the invite is in flowing script and very formal language, it goes without saying that the attire should be formal. Also it may well be noted on the invite ie. Black tie etc.

Marriage is a very important occasion and therefore all guests should dress accordingly – Typically all male guests should wear a suit or smart trousers and shirt (Tie for more formal weddings)

Female guests should wear suits, frocks or gowns (Not too dressy though so as to distract from the brides appearance)

It is normal to buy the couple a wedding gift – Typically there are two choices here, most people follow what has been put on the wedding gift list that has been drawn up by the couple, but if you want to be a bit more adventurous then you can choose something else - but a word of warning, check with the gift list before proceeding as no-one really wants to end up with 4 kettles!!!

Some tips for the Guest  back to the top          

Always reply (RSVP) as soon as you decide on whether you’re attending or not – The couple need to know numbers for catering etc and therefore the earlier you let them know the better 

Respect your invitation ie. The invitation will be addressed to those invited and not others!- Therefore if someone is not named then do not think they are invited – However if you are single yourself sometimes you may receive an invite saying plus guest. If this is the case and you decide to take a guest then make sure you mention it in your RSVP and the name of the guest to help with table plans etc.

If needed then book hotel accommodation early – The couple will probably have a list of local hotels or guest houses so check with them first as they may have negotiated discounted rates or have preferred local hotels such as at the reception venue

Think about transportation during the day – Getting to the place of ceremony, then on to the reception venue and finally back home or to the hotel – Think if you’re going to drive or will need cabs (in which case make sure you order in advance) as you don’t want to miss the service etc.

It’s probably a lot safer to choose a gift off the gift list as this will avoid unwanted or duplicate presents –

If you want to buy something extra on top of the gift for the couple then you may want to help contribute to the day ie paying towards the honeymoon or some photographers offer gift vouchers which means the couple can order extra prints to remember the day.

Make sure you wear comfortable shoes during the day as the whole occasion is a long day. Also remember that you’re there to enjoy yourself and the couple will want to see you up dancing and enjoying the day as well

Don’t forget to take your own camera – Obviously you can purchase copies of the official photographs for posterity but it’s also nice to have some more informal ones of the couple and other guests- If you intend to take photo’s during the service then do check this first with the ushers as not all ceremony venues allow personal photography at the venue

Remember to Send your gift early or take it on the day along with a wedding congratulatory card

Remember to take some confetti, flower petals or rice to throw over the happy couple after the ceremony

Arrive at the ceremony venue at least 20 minutes before the service – You will need time to get your bearings and visit the toilets etc – Plus you may bump into lots of other guests you know and therefore want to say “hello” – Plus you don’t want to arrive after the bride arrives at the venue

After the service – do not leave for the reception venue straight away as the couple may want you to be in some of the formal photographs- Wait until the ushers direct you to leave.

On arriving at the reception venue – wait for the bride and groom outside the venue you will then be greeted by the bridal party before taking your seat at the table      

If there’s a guest book then make sure you sign it and post a personal message in it as this is a good keepsake for the happy couple.

When you have the opportunity to congratulate the couple – don’t monopolise them by spending too much time with them – All the other guests want to be able to congratulate them as well 

Make sure you get into the spirit of the day by joining in the dancing and festivities, however don’t get too carried away and spoil others enjoyment!        

There are a variety of tasks which include above all help and support for the bride, especially a shoulder to lean on!

Duties will also include acting as a second pair of eyes when hunting for the wedding dress, bridesmaid dresses and venue.

As the Maid of Honour/Chief Bridesmaid, you will be involved in the planning of the all important hen do. You may also want to ask for help from the other bridesmaids and or other friends as there are a lot of logistics involved such as accommodation & venues etc.

This can be an easily underestimated task but if you put your mind to it and organise things in advance, then all the hen party should have a brilliant time.

Click here for Hen & Stag Weekends

Before the wedding you should be there to help the bride choose wedding decorations and flowers for the venue, and if the bride decides to make her own favors then you should also help make these.

Some of the most important things to remember on the wedding day are to ensure that all the bridesmaids are ready (ie. Hair and make up) and get to the venue on time, but before you do this you will need to help the bride get dressed and ready.

Other important duties on the day are to adjust the brides veil and train, hold the brides bouquet during the ceremony and hold the grooms ring until the exchange of rings takes place.

If you are requested you may want to give a maid of honour’s speech but this decision is normally taken in conjunction with the wedding party.

Finally you will normally dance the first dance with the best man.

Some tips for the Maid of Honour/Chief Bridesmaid    back to the top

Keep bridesmaids informed with the dates and times for fittings and any rehearsal dates

Keep the bride calm and relaxed and stay cheery yourself as this will help the bride relax   

Help the bride with her train when getting in and out of the car

Carry some wet wipes in case the bride or anyone smudges their make up on their dress   

Carry a bottle of water in case the bride gets hot or dehydrated on the day 

After the ceremony is over and throughout the reception - make sure the brides gown is taken care of.

Remember to take a comfortable pair of shoes to wear for after the ceremony as there’s lots of dancing to be done in the evening reception   

If you’re going to wear a new pair of shoes on the day – make sure you wear them in by wearing them around the house at least a few days before the big day

Remember that a lot of dress shirts require Cufflinks so make sure you have a pair of cufflinks for the day

You may want to surprise your bride with a gift for the day (Something like a heart pendant necklace) – Give this to one of the bridesmaids or the brides mother so they can give it to your bride on the morning of the wedding day.         

In your speech, compliment the bride, praise the bridesmaids, thank both your parents and the Brides parents and of course your best man.

If you are not leaving immediately on a honeymoon, organize in advance what you are going to do for your first night together and if it is to be a hotel, pick a nice one and enjoy using the room service.